20 April 2006

Earthquake, The Sequel

I don't know about aftershocks, but there are definitely beforeshocks where I live. A day or two ago I was talking to Dan when I felt a small earthquake. It was very short and not very strong, but it was enough to trigger my fear instincts. My whole body was tense and I was ready to run (even though running somewhere solves nothing in an earthquake). Even when they're small, they frighten me. I tend to get dizzy a lot, so maybe I'm more sensitive to a moving ground than most people. Last time I felt an earthquake I blamed it on "just getting dizzy," until my supervisor asked me if I had noticed the earthquake. But the way to test it is by looking up at the light strings. When I was talking to Dan, I looked up at my lamp. And the string was definitely swaying.

Little earthquake, for sure.


Well last night I woke up to a strange noise, a rattling of metal and glass and wood, and fairly violent shaking even though I was horizontal in my bed. This time the instincts kicked in, but I froze. I was alone, it was 2 or 3:30 in the morning (I don't remember), and I was terrified because it was my biggest earthquake yet. At the time I couldn't really tell if I was awake or dreaming about it. But the fear was definitely real. I remember telling myself, "I sleep right under a window, that's not good," and making a mental note of where my shoes and earthquake kit were, in case I needed to leave the building after. And I also remember thinking, "This is how it could happen, earthquakes can happen in the middle of the night like this, when you're not dressed, it's dark and cold outside, and you're very, very alone." And I remember crying a little bit for no reason in particular. Still, I wasn't sure if it was real or not. I was still half asleep. I thought to myself, "When an earthquake happens in the middle of the night, it will be like this." I thought I was dreaming instead of actually experiencing it.

It was scary. Scary enough that everybody at work (experienced earthquake veterans) said it was scary. Yet a lot of teachers (mainly the older men) didn't wake up at all.

You Are (Where You) Eat (It) ?

With about 340 new students and 2 classes to plan and teach entirely on my own, the work has finally returned. And I'm happy about it. Feeling needed, productive, creative, and useful makes me feel GOOD. Spring vacation is nice and all, but feeling purposeless with no kids to teach is not much fun. Now the students are back! And I love them!

I can't stand American Diet Coke. Recent newspaper articles have acknowledged what is fairly obvious: all "global" products are not created equal. Some people were upset when they discovered that the fat content of McDonald's fries varies from country to country. As you globe-trot and see the same golden arches, you assume you're getting the same product. But fries are more likely to kill you in some countries than in others. Because of various regulations, costs, etc., there are disparaties between American fries and FRENCH fries and Dutch fries and Japanese fries. And maybe you think this is "unjust," or at least worthy of newspaper report-age.


But how else can companies succeed on a global scale? They survive by adapting their products *just* enough to suit the preferences of the people without having to change the name of their brand. Did you know Haagen Daaz (sp?) makes "red bean" and "green tea" flavored ice cream? Would you ever find "red bean" ice cream in America? No. In Japan? Yes! So of course McDonald's fries will be a little (or very, according to those fat percentage charts) different depending on where you are eating.

Well so is Diet Coke, and this is the main one I care about. It shows how we could potentially become DIFFERENT PEOPLE based on the overall taste preferences of a country. Consumerism taken to the extreme, you say? I think not, considering how much people can be judged by their food preferences. (It's ridiculous!) Consider this example:

American Diet Coke is terrible. French Diet Coke is quite delicious. Japanese Diet Coke is alright. Now pretend I'm out with a bunch of friends on a picnic, and someone else was in charge of the drinks. Say they brought only Diet Coke. In America, I could be labeled the "picky" one, the "spoiled" one, the "difficult" one, because I would choose to drink nothing over a nutra-sweet-after-tasting gross American Diet Coke. It could also exclude me from the "sorority girl" stereotype because I would prefer REGULAR, calorie-laden Coke to the calorie-free kind. So people could make all these judgments about my personality, without even realizing it, because this idea of me becomes an intangible, unchanging FACT in their minds: LAUREN WILL NOT DRINK DIET COKE, therefore she is X. I find this example amusing, and extreme, but I will have trouble believing anyone who tries to dispute the fact that they make assumptions and judgments about people's personalities based on the foods they eat. What if I told you I never drink beer? What if I said don't like "bitch" drinks? The mere TERM "bitch drink" associates a whole stereotype and personality and gender with a food preference. I'm talking about alcohol but it applies to everything. Read these words and think about the images of people that come to your mind, and the personality traits you automatically assume they have: tofu. steak. lentils. Red Bull. cotton candy. meatloaf. grits. pizza. thin-crust pizza. strawberries. I could build entire people on these single words and I bet you could too.

On with my original point. If the exact same picnic situation occurred in France, or in Japan, I would gladly drink the Diet Coke. And all those assumptions or stereotypes or images that people might have made about me in America simply would not have been made in France or Japan. So to my friends, I could seem like a different person. Lauren, picky? What are you talking about?

13 April 2006

Anatomy Lesson

"Some people won't dance
if they don't know who's singing.
Why think with your head?
It's your hips that are swinging."

--Propellerheads


And I'll admit -- I love the James Blunt album.

10 April 2006

Chiru

(chiru: the verb Japanese people use to describe cherry blossoms falling from the trees)

The only living things that ignore me in this country are the cats. God bless them and their stereotypical kitty style.

The hardest thing about living where I live is the complete and total lack of privacy. I watched "The Big Chill" yesterday and couldn't help but laugh at the line, "I feel like I'm never alone. Didn't they do a study on lab rats who went crazy from lack of privacy?" Yeah, I know why. (And no, I'm not alone when I type most of these blog entries!)

On to the real reason I'm writing:

Nothing in Japan makes me feel instantly transported to my childhood like the baby-pink snapdragons I pass on my walk to work. I see snapdragons and immediately feel 5 years old, and suspect that a cat is hiding in the shrubs somewhere for me to drag out and carry around, and that my brother is behind me in the yard riding a small vehicle with an odd number of wheels. Never have I felt safer in my life...an unexpected illusion in a foreign country. And the owner of the snapdragons doesn't even know that I exist.

Yesterday I walked home through light rain and mist because I wanted to feel refreshed. The smell of greens welcoming the rain almost knocked me out it was so thick. (I love that smell.) And then I realized walking home that day would look totally different to me because of the scents that would reach me through the water in the air. Yesterday the air was a totally different canvas and the paint seemed completely new.

So I was walking along inhaling hard with every breath. I wondered if these Japanese smells would be good combined in perfume. If Angel included chocolate, and tons of perfume contained ambergris, I'm convinced that I could turn natto and mirin and maybe even sticky rice into something attractive.

I was mainly focused on my nose, until I came across a still-life in motion -- frozen but moving, more so a part of nature than the houses and sidewalks surrounding it, yet so isolated and seemingly cut off from the reality in which I was standing. The scene was like a fantasy turned virtual reality and I was on the edge of the fantasy looking in. Everything with this surreal quality that made me think if I tried to touch it, my hand would sweep through trees and plants as if they were holographic projections.

So, instead of pushing my luck, I stood on the edge of the sidewalk, and peered in. For at least 15 minutes I stood motionless, just staring at something so beautiful I felt it was only created for the hope that someone would stop and notice it.

It was a small square park lined with cherry trees still in bloom. The petals, saturated by mist, appeared pinker than usual. I saw no birds, people, or other moving things in the park; only the plants, so the rather large, old cherry trees took over with this frozen, regal quality, so proudly but so quietly displaying their blossoms.

That in itself was not so unusual; I'd been accustomed to the lovely cherry trees for at least a week. What caught my eye this time was the only movement in the whole park: it was snowing.

But not snowing everywhere. Onto me fell only small taps of rain. There was a very distinct line between where it was snowing and where it was not, and this is probably what made me feel like I was looking into a picture instead of living in the reality of it.

It was the snow of big, fat, beautiful flakes, that fell so slowly they seemed to defy gravity, so silently they seemed to defy anything mortal. They fell and decorated the plants like confetti, stuck in place by the dampness of the rain.

These delicate chips of whitish-pink silk kissed the sidewalk and the street pavement and just stuck without melting. Then I looked up past knarled tree trunks, past branches spread widely, asymmetrical but balanced, past the browns and greens into the pink and white clouds of that little sky. The cherry trees were snowing their flowers. That's why nonoe of the flakes dissolved on contact. It wasn't snowing frosted ice; it was raining flower petals in that little fantasy world beneath the trees. I couldn't believe how slowly yet how steadily the petals fell. My sense of time and seasons became confused. It was the 2nd time in my life I'd seen it snow in spring, but the first time I'd seen snow without feeling cold.

Of course the cherry trees would have been the cherry trees, regardless of my presence or lack thereof. But I stood there like I was watching a performance, a celebration that was put on just for me. I felt like the trees weren't mourning the loss of their blossoms, but instead celebrating the spring...and like the whole display had been silently orchestrated for me -- modest, but at the same time desperate for someone to stop and notice.

I know I've gone on and on...but it was truly one of the most amazingly beautiful and natural things I've ever seen. I felt like the tree was talking to me. And I'm not even a hippie.

People who think you have to camp to truly appreciate nature, who think you have to pitch tents and iodize your water and stay dirty to really know what nature is...those people are only seeing one color in the prism. I don't think people should be expected to dig holes with trowels before others will believe that they love things about the outside.

This morning after walking to work over sakura-lined sidewalks, I had to scrape cakes of cherry blossom petals from my shoes. It's a miracle I didn't slip on all that silk.

Aries


In honor of my approaching birthday, I thought it would be fun to share some common Aries traits that I believe are accurate descriptions of me. I can't speak for Jess, but in my opinion, she exhibits these traits too.

Yay for fiery spring babies.


  • Aries has an intuitive fire that burns the astrological signature of "I Am" onto everything she does.
  • Aries will favor danger over boredom because boredom is a risk greater than death!
  • Body language that says, "What you see is what you get." This simple, direct style is an Aries trait, and with Aries you usually know where you stand. This straight shooter practices the dharma of right action, staking his personal actions on his basic integrity. Although human nature is complex, Aries rarely wears a mask, so conflict noticeably twists him in knots.
  • Anxiety, fear, tension, and stress are invitations for Aries courage.
  • It's a rarity to find an Aries that isn't controversial at one point or another.
    While many people may not associate spirituality with the sign of the ram, their spiritedness puts the spirit in spiritual. (um maybe not Jess)
  • Aries has a strong sense of ego self-hood, which is necessary for his important sense of mission. When he breaks new territory for the greater good, the Ram uses his pioneering will for all of us.

--msn.com

And hopefully the baby picture made you laugh...I have no idea how the colander got on top of my head. (Compliments of Tudy! :) )

09 April 2006

Question of the Moment...

(or month, or season, or early 20s...)

How important is it to be important?

Responses welcome.

Overheard in Japan

Late 20s guy to early 20s girl: The truth is, international relationships just don't work. I don't want to marry a girl and then have all conversation be, "Ah, ohashi, sugoi ne?"

Japanese teenagers: Wow, look at that girl. She's really pretty, isn't she. Where is she from? Germany -- she must be German. (to girl, in Japanese): Excuse me, where are you from?
American girl: America.
Japanese teenagers: America? No. Aren't you German?
American girl: No, I'm American.
Japanese teenagers: You don't look American.

Late 20s girl to early 20s girl: I'll sit in Starbucks and talk about sex in a normal voice, because I just assume nobody can understand me. I should probably re-think that one and lower my voice.

Middle-aged Japanese women: Whoa! A foreigner! Look at that foreigner! She's eating a rice cake! That's AMAZING!

Japanese man, late 50s: My wife has no idea how much money we have. She won't know until I die. Before I die, I'll ask the bank to hand over the account statement to my wife, so she'll know. But she won't know until I die.
American girl, early 20s: So she doesn't care?
Japanese man: What?
American girl: She's not interested? She doesn't want to know how much money there is?
Japanese man: Of course not.

Japanese woman, in Japanese: Excuse me, would you like me to take the picture for you, so you three girls can be in the picture together?
American girl: Sure, thanks a lot!
Japanese woman, to her Japanese friends: Wow! That girl just spoke in Japanese!!
Australian girl, to American girl: Uh, they spoke to us in Japanese.

American girl to new coworker: Hey, I recognize you. You play tennis, right?
Japanese guy: Yes, I play tennis.
American girl: Oh that's great! Would you like to play doubles with us sometime?
Japanese guy: Um, I can't.
American girl: Why not?
Japanese guy: Because I will marry in the fall.

02 April 2006

Walking Home from Work


As the seasons change, so does the time -- I am now 13 hours ahead of America's east coast.

29 March 2006

America

I don't know what's worse -- the current immigration debate, or the fact that some people actually think Bush's stance could help keep Republicans in office. I don't even want to discuss how furious the immigration issue can make me -- forget immigration. I don't care what Bush does from this point on, if a Republican is elected next, I'll flip.

Faith in the government?? Where is my faith in THE PEOPLE? COME ON, USE YOUR HEADS!!!

Not to mention the current problems in France...

Early Evening Sakura


laterns for the cherry trees

Sakura Photos 2



All of these cherry trees are in my neighborhood...a benefit of the suburbs!

Sakura Photos




See how the blossoms appear to disperse the light like snow?

Baseball Under the Sakura



These little guys have been outside every day of spring...

Hina Doll Photos




In Japan, March marks the coming of spring, as well as a time for families to celebrate the health of their daughters. Parents set up a large, extremely expensive, hand-painted and hand-crafted Hina doll display. Every day in March, little girls can admire their dolls (without touching, of course) and on special days, wear kimonos to 'match' the dolls on the display. My supervisor has a 2-year old little girl named Hinako. Essentially, her name means "little girl of spring," because she was born during the same month as the girls' festival. It was Hinako's first year to have a doll display, and my supervisor was kind enough to invite me to her house, to see a doll display in person. Unfortunately I couldn't meet Hinako, because she was in kindergarten, but I hope to go back again. I love my supervisor. When the new school year begins in April, I have to move to a new desk, like all other teachers -- but that means I also have to change supervisors!! No!!!!!

In this display (as in most), the Emperor and Empress sit on the top, with servants underneath. Notice the many layers of kimonos -- in the past, members of the court would actually wear these 12 layers!! Carrying all that silk must have toned some royal muscle.

The Egg Vending Machine



The quintessential offspring of technology and traditional Japanese life...one block from my apartment!

27 March 2006

Most Beautiful Tanka...

Of all the tanka I have read recently (over 200), I think the following is the most beautiful. It uses so few words to say so much, and the effect is quite powerful. Once the implications sink in, they hit me like a bunch of bricks.

A day will come
when my eyes
no longer see.
To me my husband whispers,
"It will be alright."

--T.K.

Back to Japan

Recently my mind has been in many places. Japan is only one of those places, which is a change from how things were a few months ago. But nothing stays the same, ne?

Indeed, nothing has remained the same. Some things are predictable, but still different. Early morning frost has been replaced by cherry trees in full bloom. The blossoms, which were pink buds only a few days ago, are now white flowers with all the grace and fluffiness of giant snowflakes. When I look into a cluster of cherry trees, it's like looking into a freeze-frame snowfall -- the kind with fat, feathery flakes that seem to build resistance and slow down as they float to the earth.

I ran into a plump brown lizard yesterday. I haven't seen any of these guys since you could sweat just resting in the shade. The lizard startled me so I yelped, but then I laughed, because his presence could only mean one thing: heat is coming! He stuck his pink tongue into the air as a greeting, then dove into the nearest ditch.

So spring is coming, but it's not quite warm. This means that my camera batteries won't stay charged, because my apartment is still too cold. But as soon as possible, I will take cherry blossom photos to share.

For the first time since summer, I have no work to accomplish at school. I can get a head-start on some lesson plans, but there is no need. If I get a head-start on work now, there will just be more free time in the future, free time that I would appreciate filling up with work that I have not already completed. The other teachers are busy--not everyone is sitting around with as much free time--but since I am an ALT, I don't have as many responsibilities. I will actually be glad when spring vacation ends, and I can once again fulfill my purpose of being an English teacher. (But have no fear, I am finding plenty to do in the "free" time. I don't allow myself to stay bored all day.)

In other news, the teacher changes are officially complete. Mayumi and Jun are gone, which makes me sad. They will return on Thursday for a teacher party and a final goodbye. Then the desks in the teachers' room will be rearranged, and a new school year will officially begin, complete with new staff.

It occured to me this morning, as it has many times before, just how small your world can be. No matter how many things you learn, or how many places you go, your world will always be as big or as small as you make it. When classes aren't in session, my world at work consists of set patterns and routes and routines. I thought this while washing my hands in the teachers' room. There are 2 sinks, but I always use the same sink. I use the exact same sink and wash my hands the exact same way, every time. I'm in Japan but sometimes your world can be only so big. I thought the same thing when I was in Paris on the metro: "I ride the exact same route to the university every day; I see the same strangers and I recognize the same people who take the same route as I do. I have come all the way to Paris, but in many ways, my world can stay so small." Funny, isn't it? Expansion doesn't happen without a conscious effort.

This weekend I'm going to a concert with Mayumi in Nagoya. Yay!! Then I'm going to a hanami party (cherry-blossom-viewing festival) with a few other teachers. The batteries will be charged by then, so I hope the blossoms will still be there for me to photograph!

Camping in Japan

...by Sara Ursin. This "Top Ten" was published in the same journal that published one of my blog entries. I thought the list was hilarious and strikingly realistic.

Top 10 Reasons Why Living in Japan is like Camping

10. Garbage must be carried with you wherever you go.
9. Inside and outside are the same temperature.
8. Cooking is done over an open flame.
7. Raingear is brought everywhere.
6. The neighbors hear and see everything you do.
5. The neighbors invite you over for a cold beer.
4. You sleep on the floor.
3. The floor is made of grass.
2. Bugs, bugs, and more bugs.
1. The Squatty-Potty.

Honorable Mentions
  • BYOTP - bring your own toilet paper
  • the large variety of meat on sticks
  • like a campfire, people huddle around a kerosene heater
  • laundry is air-dried for all of the neighbors to see

24 March 2006

The Feminine Mystique

"Girls must make a lifetime commitment (call it a "life plan" if that dirty word career has too many celibate connotations) to a field of thought, to work of serious importance to society...As boys go on from the liberal arts core to study architecture, law, the arts, science, girls must be encouraged to go on, to make a life plan. It has been shown that girls with this kind of a commitment are less eager to rush into marriage, less panicky about finding a man, more responsible for their sexual behavior. Most of them marry, of course, but on a much more mature basis. Their marriages then are not an escape but a commitment shared by two people that becomes part of their commitment to themselves and society. If, in fact, girls are educated to make such commitments, the question of sex and when they will marry will lose its overwhelming importance. It is the fact that women have no identity of their own that makes sex, love, marriage, and children seem the only and essential facts of women's lives."

--Betty Friedan

1963 and again in 2001

22 March 2006

Mc, Wal-, Star- -- Did I Stutter?

Wal-Mart has moved to China, and it pisses me off. Certain aspects of American culture wouldn't be allowed to take over the world if the rest of the world didn't buy (and buy into) the crap. How many times do people have to see "Fight Club" before they get the message? When did people start believing that crap defined them? (In Japan, the answer is always, "After World War II.") I don't understand how the world can hate America so much yet continue taking their kids to McDonald's. The people who complain about strip malls and overconsumption and franchises are the same people ordering fried potatoes or buying seafood and pigs' ears from Wal-Mart instead of their neighborhood markets. Damnit people, if you let American consumerism succeed, it will. This is not a hard equation.

Japan is definitely a consumer culture. What is "cool" to buy runs the gamut, but usually the more Western and "exotic" something is, the better. McDonald's is still a little too fatty for Japanese taste, but you can hardly find a place to stand in a Starbucks. It's always packed.

Now, what about picking and choosing your franchises? I haven't set foot in a McDonald's, but I have gladly walked into these crowded Starbucks, a place I would not be caught dead if the country had its own good coffee (Italy, France, etc). So if I'm pissed about the Wal-Mart in China, but relieved to stumble across a Starbucks in Shizuoka, does that make me a hypocrite?

Evidently, picking and choosing is not a good idea, because you can pretty much guarantee that if you're sitting in an American-owned franchise, somebody somewhere wants to bomb it - even in Japan. I couldn't help but question my appreciation of Starbucks, a decidedly Western space with a Western feel in an Eastern land, when I read a tiny sign in the bathroom one day (see below - I was so struck by the clear but delicately-implied message that I got out my camera and took a photo of the sign.) But as for my new-found appreciation for Starbucks.... Could that nostalgia for America, for Western atmosphere, even my poorly-sated nostalgia for a Parisian cafe, one day cost me my life? What if someone decided he hated Starbucks as much as he hated America?

The difference in consumer culture in Japan and America boils down to a lasting gift from our founding fathers - Puritanism. Maybe I speak too much about myself here, and what I say can't be generalized for fellow Americans. But after shopping with Japanese friends, I noticed a difference. They buy the thing, revel in their newfound happiness, and then move on. Whoo, an accomplishment, isn't purchasing power great. I buy the thing, revel for a few minutes, then move on to an inevitable cycle. Yeah, this is great, but it doesn't change my reality at all; it doesn't define who I am; it doesn't make me more capable or smarter or more beautiful; it doesn't make me more fulfilled, don't I know not to put that much stock into a thing? into a luxury? If I get too excited about this, it will just make me feel empty, because it doesn't fulfill any kind of real need. Gee, I should be ashamed for even getting excited about this in the first place. In fact, I might even be a better person WITHOUT this thing. It just adds to the clutter.

Case-in-point, pre-purchase: one day I was shopping with a friend. I was looking for a new sweater, which I found almost immediately. It was expensive but it was comfortable, sexy, fit perfectly, and looked unlike something I could find in GAP or the usual places. I bought it. Ah, a brief moment of satisfaction and excitement as I daydreamed about donning my new purchase.
But my sweater only caused my friend grief. "Oh, I need something," she said. "What are you looking for?" I asked. "Well nothing in particular, but you got something, so now I just NEED something. I want to buy something too." Was she kidding me? That blatant, blind desire to buy something for the sake of buying something wouldn't pass in America. Maybe I'm an oddball or maybe I hang out with weird people. But I couldn't believe my friend was saying that with no trace of guilt or shame. Even if the thought had crossed my mind, I never would have shared it aloud. I think the major reason for this is the complete lack of Christianity in Japan's history. (And currently, only about 2% of Japan is Christian). There are no Christian or Puritan values. (One of the strangest things about Japan for me is the obvious lack of "rest" on Sundays.) The reason Japan is so easily a consumer culture, why this tiny country "boasts" the highest Louis Vuitton market in the world, is the same reason abortion is often a perfectly acceptble method of "contraception." Japan does not distinguish between a "baby" and a "fetus," yet there are no moral consequences to terminating a pregnancy. The birth control pill was introduced only recently, and I have yet to hear of any woman actually interested in using it. Why dump your body full of "unnecessary" hormones when the problem is easily solved by abortion?

From Wal-Mart to abortion in one post? I must have been pissed off for a while.



Disclaimer: I am not against abortion.

For some reason I had trouble uploading the Starbucks bathroom photo, which is of a sign that reads, "Please let our staff know if you see any suspicious packages."