Handshake

If someone is struggling to communicate in slow English, or if I am sputtering elementary Japanese, I am fully aware of the fact that we have different backgrounds and cultural expectations. The labored communication makes it painfully obvious. But if English just rolls of a Japanese person's tongue with little effort, I temporarily forget that I am in HIS country. The sad result of better communication is that my Japanese etiquette goes down the drain.

I read somewhere that Japanese men can be repulsed by a firm handshake. With my best interests in mind, my dad drilled into me the proper (Western!) introduction procedures: offer your hand if they haven't already, give it a firm squeeze, smile, and look them in the eye. In most cases I've already gotten over this impulse to stick out my hand. (It only takes a few awkward introductions to keep your hands to yourself.) But yesterday I met a tennis coach from another high school. He was young, in his mid-twenties, and had some of the best English I've heard in Japan. In fact he was SO easy to talk to that he asked if we'd met before. We had not, so I smiled, told him my name, and stuck out my hand. There was a split-second hesitation on his part, and when I firmly shook his hand a look of disgust came over his face. It wasn't until then that I realized how un-Japanese and weird I seemed. I pretended like I didn't notice, but I was really embarrassed for forgetting something so basic. Minus one for Lauren.

I doubt I'll make that mistake again...