Guest Blogger: Chris Manz

"Just Another Day"
written by Chris Manz
edited by yours truly

So, I went to New Jersey today and came back via the Port Authority. Now, the L is down yet again, so I needed to take the ACE to the JMZ, then get a shuttle to where I live. Not so bad. It began strangely when there was a D train running on the ACE line, but no matter, I took it anyway. Then in the middle of the ACE line, the D train--which was pretending to be an A-- decided to become an F train, for no apparent reason. Unusual, but not a big deal for me, as it was still going where I needed it to go. Things would only get more interesting when the poser F train decided to stop little more than halfway across Manhattan, making its last stop at a station where there were no other lines. And it stopped on the uptown side of the tracks. After crossing to the other side of the station, I waited for a real F train to take me one stop further, which is all I needed, and waited for quite a while, staring at something that resembled a tusk from a decent sized cat, or perhaps really large rat. But the train eventually came before I could figure out exactly what it was. As we crossed over the Williamsburg bridge into Brooklyn, there was a somewhat crazy woman sitting near me. She was seated next to a man (who I think was with her) when she proceeded to stick her pinkie in her ear and shake it vigorously. Then she pulled her pinkie out slightly and whisked the air toward the man, as you might have done as a child, when you farted and wished to blow the foul air towards someone else. Lovely imagery. I made it to brooklyn only to get on a bus with a bus driver who resembled a cross between Matt Dillon (who I always thought was kinda creepy) and the main guy from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, with a thin moustache of the former and the "I'm tripping on acid" look of the latter. I wanted to put on a seatbelt, but alas, there was none. All of this occurred as I was transporting a backpack full of brownies, chocolate chip cookies, and a delicious roast beef, compliments of my dear aunt.