31 October 2005

You Get What You Settle For

For some reason, this quote gives me a lot of trouble. Just in case you breezed over my title, I'll repeat the famous line from Thelma & Louise:

You get what you settle for.

Or, for the English critics, "You get that for which you settle." Yes, I am aware of the preposition rule.

I saw this on a Maxwell friend's profile about 4 months ago, and it's been nagging me ever since. Why? I have tried to live my whole life knowing full and well why I do the things I do, going for what I really want, and never settling for anything. Living like this does not come without consequences (people saying you're too picky, too uptight, or you struggle to maintain a balance between achievement and contentment, etc.) But perhaps I just hit the nail on the head: the balance between achievement and contentment is something I've been trying to figure out ever since a great conversation in Norway about 3 years ago. I can't see where my life is going. I believe that, at this point, I can still make it anything I want. I am happy with where my life has been...but I am no closer to answering this question than I was before.

I think Thelma and Louise got to me because I can feel myself sliding more and more into the contentment side of things. If you're happy with the way things are, you stop striving for so much. I can't decide if this is good or bad. It also makes me feel like I'm getting older. I remember learning in my Developmental Psych class that the older people get, the more content they become with the way things are. They come to accept their decisions and their places in life, and they stop worrying so much about "getting somewhere" else. But should I allow myself to fall into that comfort mode so soon? I think not! But it's starting to happen! Help!

Or, should I just be happy about it, and let it all go? Go with the flow, go where the wind takes me, what happens happens, and I'll be content with whatever.

As much as I agree with Buddhism, this is the snag that gets me every time: if you're content NOW, there's no reason to IMPROVE. Which side of this coin is more important? The obvious answer is, "Well both, of course. You have to find a balance." But that's taking the easy way out. Right now, I AM LIVING the balance...yet this question is still bothering me after 3 years.

I want to shout, "Settling is bad! Keep going! Always strive for the absolute best!"

But are those really my own thoughts, or someone else's?

Goethe said, "When you trust yourself, you will know how to live."
But if your self is telling you two different, diametrically opposed things...you're stuck.

Who was Goethe, anyway?

2 comments:

Mimi said...

Oh geez. You couldn't have a written a post more appropriate to what I was thinking this moment. In one sense I do think you have to 'settle' but I don't think its a bad thing. Everyone has flaws, so if you keep looking for the perfect person, place to live, whatever, you will never find it and you will be lonely. I think the more realistic question is 'on what qualities are you willing to settle?'

If only I knew the answer to my own questions!

Jessica Letizia said...

Goethe was quite the genius. And I think that if you're asking yourself these questions, you have nothing to worry about. If nothing else, you will always be my Lauren. :)